Hockey is a social game but is it more domineering than assertive according to the game constraints promotes today? I see a tricky authoritarianism in hockey that handicaps playfulness.
most play is social play. Social play is the academy for learning social skills.
The reason why play is such a powerful way to impart social skills is that it is voluntary. Players are always free to quit, and if they are unhappy they will quit. Every player knows that, and so the goal, for every player who wants to keep the game going, is to satisfy his or her own needs and desires while also satisfying those of the other players, so they don’t quit. Social play involves lots of negotiation and compromise. If bossy Betty tries to make all the rules and tell her playmates what to do without paying attention to their wishes, her playmates will quit and leave her alone, starting their own game elsewhere. That’s a powerful incentive for her to pay more attention to them next time. The playmates who quit might have learnt a lesson, too. If they want to play with Betty, who has some qualities they like, they will have to speak up more clearly next time, to make their desires plain, so she won’t try to run the show and ruin their fun. To have fun in social play you have to be assertive but not domineering; that’s true for all of social life.
Excerpted from the play deficit by Peter Gray. https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-play-deficit?fbclid=IwAR2HDsbupgwnmO17LqSyh9Gd_ENdZVZeX6rJibJB9eo7YI3cKo4f_sqqoZs